Monday, March 14, 2011

The Next Chosen Career of Curley Fermudge: Episode One

The fourth Tuesday in May was just like any other. The sun shone weakly, as it tends to do on fourth Tuesdays in Mays. The birds were chirping meekly as they tried to rise above the morning sounds of people heading in to work on this day, the fourth Tuesday in May, a day like any other.

Well, that is to anyone except Curley Fermudge. It was a special Tuesday for Curley, for only a fortnight ago had he graduated from OUST* with a CUSS**, gained his terracotta coloured jacket with apricot coloured handkerchief and been invited to join the junior ranks of L.J. Horr Realty on Lime Street.

Curley tried to maintain the air of dignity and slight smirk that was expected of a man of his new profession, but inside his heart fluttered with the excitement of what was to come, the chance to prove to his doubters that he could be a man of substance and humility and realty, all at once.

Even the seagull that crapped on Curley Fermudge's jacket as he crossed the street could not soil his mood. He simply wiped it away with the bottom part of his apricot coloured hankerchief and stepped through the reflective doors of L.J. Horr on Lime Street...

*OUST= Open University for Sellout Types
**CUSS= Certificate with Uniform for Selling Stuff


  1. Two months into his new profession, Curley Fermudge quietly laughed to himself as he watched the brow-beaten office workers and school teachers miserably making their early morning way to their 'professions'.
    He turned away from the window and brewed a bodum of coffee to make his first flat white of the day and sat down to watch the news programme on TV and then Eggheads before making his way to the office at 10AM. Already he had sold four houses making in commission what the wraiths outside would earn in 6 months.

  2. Oooohhhh, keep going I want to know what happens to Curley and his apricot coloured hankerchief!

  3. You forgot the CRFST
    You know.

    Conscience Removal and Fixed Smile Transplant

  4. Being a barista of some experience Wine Guy I can tell you that you do not use a bodum to make a flat white. However, a bodum along with some milk can be used to make a white coffee.

  5. Richard (of RBB0 will probably like this, but I'm chewin' the carrot.

  6. Oops, that 'o' should have been a ')' - I had too much carrot in my mouth.

  7. Yeah - semantics. I put milk in the top part of the bodum and it blends with the coffee to produce a nice flat - flat white. Her Indoors won't drink my concoctions. She makes coffee only in the bodum and microwaves milk in a small container and whisks that up to a froth and adds it to the coffee. Too much like hard work for me.