Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The Next Chosen Career of Curley Fermudge: Episode Two

The late May sun was well into its decent as Curley Fermudge strolled the pavements home following his first day as the new employee of L.J. Horr Realty. He couldn't wait to get home and reflect on the day over a glass of wine.

For now though his prime importance lay in focussing on the ambience of each property that he passed by. Ever since finding out that his new offer of gainful employment also included a company car which could be left at the office, Curley had decided to apply a theory he'd read about in one of the text books from his CUSS* course.

The Imaleech Theory proposes that by getting a sense of the unhappiness of those in a household, one can gain an indication of how easily the members of said household could be suggested into selling. The giggling children at No. 124 Trout Street had led him to cross them off his potentials list. But the loud blues music coming from No. 278, and subsequent woman's raised voice demanding the volume be lowered suggested to him that things were not all rosy. Placing a brochure in the letter box, or even a chance visit one evening, might plant the idea in their heads that their unhappiness lay with the house they resided in, rather than an unhappiness with each other. It did seem like an extreme example, but Curley knew that he had to consider such things as these if he was ever going to make it in the real estate trade.

Arriving at No. 666 Trout Street, the Fermudge residence, Curley took the newspaper from the mailbox (his wife was out of town, probably a good thing as he needed to focus on his new chosen career) and went inside. An hour later, sitting on the patio drinking a glass of Devilsweat Estate Pinot Greasio 2007 (a bitey vintage, with tinges of chilli and cedar bark), Curley sighed a long sigh and thought of Roger, his new boss; Felicity the secretary and Moss, Jeanie and Trev the other agents. All great inspiring characters who had spent the day giving advice, as well as running through the protocols and working methods of LJ Horr Realty. Jeanie had been particulary helpful, even suggesting that Curley should use fake tan to radiate a more successful look. She'd even kindly offered to get him the appropraite supplies fron the chemist on her way home (after she'd secured $20 from Curley to pay for it).

Yes, Curley thought to himself, it had been a good start and Curley was just as sure that he'd made all the right impressions upon his co-workers. He had indeed made a switch for the better.

*CUSS= Certificate with Uniform for Selling Stuff


  1. Annette Bening is great. I liked this film.

  2. Yes, I loved it. She actually missed out on a Best Supporting Oscar to Anna Paquin.

    While 'researching' this post I watched a few clips from the movie. THis one is great:

  3. That was excellent. Good old Lester (he comes to a bad end though so his freedom is short-lived).
    It reminds me of when I went to WINZ last year to look for work. I had given them my CV and they said there were no jobs going for someone with my qualifications. When I said that I would be quite happy driving a ride-on mower, reading water meters or driving a small delivery truck for minimal wages the look I got was like that supervisor doing the interview in Mr Smileys. Priceless.

  4. I'm enjoying the story. Is it set in England?

  5. Curmudgeon- Yes- I have been thinking a lot about that lately. There is this perception that you must always go up in your career, seldom sideways, but never down. Yet my Dad one of the most intelligent and widely read men I know with a degree is happily content driving buses and trucks and working in the fields. I would rather drop down to being a Teacher Aid/assistant than become a deputy principal.

  6. Richard- thanks. Actually, as I create the story I see it in my mind as being set in Girborne. The LJ Horr offices are on Palmerston Road, and Trout street is based on Stout Street. I don't really know why that is, it's just a small sunny coastal provincial city, much like you might find in, say, Northland.

  7. This story is getting a little scary, but when do we get to the blood-sucking initiation that all estate agents have to go through?

  8. Ha yes TSB, put that down to it being after a long day at school.