Exherts from the free morning rag:
For just on £35 you can buy a (tacky) replica of Kate's engagement ring.
There's flooding in Cornwell, and pictures to prove it.
It's not all about rhinestones and sequins: shimmer and sheen are this season's understated glamour.
In a pet shop in China every ferret sold comes with its own passport.
A housing official has aoplogised for saying a jobless man didn't have any brains.
There is now a Flushtracker application that allows you to follow what happpens when a flush leaves your loo. Just type in your address and the last time you flushed, and the application will reveal the position, speed and distance travelled by the 'water'.